As I sit thru the sleepless nights staring at the darkest corner; tears run over my face and I think of all pitiful times that I have spent in recent past that brought me to this stage. I feel like yelling out for freedom but I am tied down by my ethics. The same ethics those don’t let me talk of my pain and sorrow. But something’s have to be spoken even if it hurts others because after all being selfish is what I have learnt from the famous her.
As I try to pass my day thinking of me; working hard to reach my goal; the voice echoes in my head. They are repetitive and punishing and they are;
“You are a thirty year old dumb guy who could not prove yourself in the time I have given you and you will never settle in your life. I want easy life and so I can’t be with you anymore”
“Come on what kind of a man are you? I am telling you I don’t want to be with you anymore; I want to settle down in US. I want easy life and I don’t think you will ever settle down or get residency in US. You don’t even have US visa”. “Why should I come back to you because we had sex?”
“If you want to die; you die. Please don’t call me and try to make me feel guilty I don’t think the antidepressants you are taking are working. Double up the dose. Are you taking them properly coz they don’t seem to reduce your madness?”
These are the words that came out of mouth of a person who I loved the most and who wanted to spend rest of her life with me. This is the person who wanted to become pregnant with my child so she can marry me.
She used to be terrified of the eunuchs on the streets at the same time when they mention how nice we look together she used to go to cloud nine. But this is the same girl who suggested me to sleep around with other girls so to get over her. I bet that’s what she is doing now and she doesn’t even need to get over me as long as she is offered American visa and dollars.
What’s the price I paid when someone decided to turn to be a bitch for American dream..... A whole lot of life.
As I try to pass my day thinking of me; working hard to reach my goal; the voice echoes in my head. They are repetitive and punishing and they are;
“You are a thirty year old dumb guy who could not prove yourself in the time I have given you and you will never settle in your life. I want easy life and so I can’t be with you anymore”
“Come on what kind of a man are you? I am telling you I don’t want to be with you anymore; I want to settle down in US. I want easy life and I don’t think you will ever settle down or get residency in US. You don’t even have US visa”. “Why should I come back to you because we had sex?”
“If you want to die; you die. Please don’t call me and try to make me feel guilty I don’t think the antidepressants you are taking are working. Double up the dose. Are you taking them properly coz they don’t seem to reduce your madness?”
These are the words that came out of mouth of a person who I loved the most and who wanted to spend rest of her life with me. This is the person who wanted to become pregnant with my child so she can marry me.
She used to be terrified of the eunuchs on the streets at the same time when they mention how nice we look together she used to go to cloud nine. But this is the same girl who suggested me to sleep around with other girls so to get over her. I bet that’s what she is doing now and she doesn’t even need to get over me as long as she is offered American visa and dollars.
What’s the price I paid when someone decided to turn to be a bitch for American dream..... A whole lot of life.
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