“Sweet fowder face”

Today I accidently came across her profile picture on orkut. I saw her picture in a friends account. Yes she looks beautiful in her ceremonial dress as all she always did for me. “Sweet fowder face”. She exactly dressed herself how I would have loved her to be but fate had decided more agony for me.

Here I lay crying and dosing myself with chemicals while she is getting ready for her new partner. Why do people disturb a peaceful soul and why do people make promises and make them false. God am I not your precious child? Couldn’t you just smile at me once?

Is it so much of a sin to love a person? Is it a sin wanting to share life with someone when you are not completely independent? Why it is so hard for people to trust me is it because God has already written on my face incapable? I had my answers a long time ago in one way or the other but accepting the truth means letting her go and I can’t do that. I will bear the pain, I will cry a river and I will eat medications but I refuse to part myself from her memories. Sorrow and bitterness have become life and I am ok with it.

I guess death is the easier way out of this. If only my mum could live without me. If only I can break a promise.